Rose's Story
HELLO?!
Who are you? I'm a special little Rose. Have you ever listened to the soft small voice of a young tender Rose? The innocence is genuine, the spirit tender and so easily broken for its entire life. As just one special little Rose, may I talk to you for a little and gently pluck the strings of your heart?
When I was only a little over a year old, actually 15 months, my mommy shared some very exciting news with me that I was going to be a big sister. What a job that will be, I thought, as I'm still just a little Rose. But, as storms come, so often, the damaging winds and hail arrive along with it. The storm of this particular day, September 3, 2001, was greater than I had ever imagined it could be. Mommy rained down her wrath on this little Rose with a really hard spanking and then laid me in the clouds of my bed for a nap.
After a while, the storm seemed to calm, but as I awoke I saw an unfamiliar face glaring at me. Was I in Heaven or was this a strange dream? The lady smiled, picked me up, and then carried me away. This was just too strange and odd for comfort. Wherever was she taking me and who was she? Soon we arrived at another house that I didn't recall ever having seen before either. OH MY, where are my roots and my mother bush that I had relied on to sustain my life and let me grow and bloom into the beautiful flower little Roses are supposed to be? HOW am I supposed to do this when tossed amidst another bush that I have no connections with? Have I been severed from my support for the rest of my life? The panic I felt was overwhelming!
This new support now in my life was so strange and soon I found more thorns than I ever even imagined any Rose bush could possibly have. Those thorns of abuse and neglect still "sting" as they pierce my heart, soul, and tender skin. Why must the young Roses of this world be forced to live among the foster family "bushes" who are there only to claim the fertilizer of money they get for holding me within their stems of thorns for the following weeks that seemed almost an eternity? The pain of those thorns never goes away..................
Those weeks passed and it seemed as though I might never see the sun shine again, but on this day soon after the Thanksgiving feast on November 29, 2001, someone finally came to rescue me from the thorns that had been piercing my body and soul, but Oh NO, I am now being carried away by the winds of another unfamiliar set of support stems. But as I looked closer and felt the warm embrace of my daddy's limbs (arms) wrapped around me, I realized that I was out of the storm and there were no thorns of abuse to pierce me. At last I thought, I was now safe surrounded by the sweet smells and gentleness of a kind and loving new family with my daddy and Meme' (grandmother). Wrapped in this abundance of love and security where I knew I wouldn't be hurt again and that they were always near to catch me if I stumbled and fell, to wipe away my tears, calm my fears, play with me, and enjoy each new step as I learned new things and would continue to grow on my journey through life. There were times when I felt sick or sad, but I knew I could always reach out and they would take my hand.
Within this support of my new family, I've learned many new things and skills that will go with me the rest of my life, like yes maam and no sir, please and thank you, how to help care for myself, early educational skills spelling my name, how to play, enjoy being a little girl, have fun, and just be me, all safely within limits for such a young Rose.
Oh NO, not the family bushes of thorns again! Please let me be in peace while I am in your house visiting you. Don't choke me, flick me, kick me, hit me, pinch me, and pull my hair. This is all pain that my little body can't take much more of! Oh Please dear leaves within reach of me, protect me from the big sharp piercing thorns of Daddy Stalk who rules this garden with hard injurious tools! I am still so young and tender and just cannot understand why he doesn't like little Roses like me and wants to push so many hurtful and abusive thorns into my flesh, stuffing large amounts of food in my mouth and holding it closed until I swallow it, chewed or not. There's so much that I really don't understand and don't know what to call it all, but even as small and young as I am, I feel there are some really bad and strange things being done to my body that hurts and makes me so sore in private places it makes me cry when I walk, and that I don't like.
The doctor is my friend though. When I am sore and can hardly even walk, he has Meme' buy some lotion to make me feel better. Once I had to even take some medicine I was so sore. I know I can tell my meme' ev-er-y-thing. Meme', why do I have to keep going back to that bush of thorns for them to keep piercing my little body over and over? Am I some sort of sacrifice at their disposal? I'm little but I do understand a lot more than most people think I do. I know Meme' and Daddy loves me very much, and although they really don't want to, when it is time for me to go visit my mom's garden of thorns, they always insist that I go.
My meme' has tried, but she just hasn't been able to stop my mom and her significant other from delivering more abuse each time I go to their garden. Like a clock, visits continue on and I am now 2 years old. Meme' will listen to me when I come back to her house and tell her I don't want to go back to mommie's. I hate you (mommy); I don't want you (mommy) and I want you (mommy) not to be my family. You (Mommy) don't even care when I am sick and do not feel good and only want to sleep, and even when the doctor says I have a fever. The doctor even sends notes home to my mommy, but to her they're only trash. I only hear you scream and yell when you come to get me for a visit and tell my meme' that the courts say I must go if you demand that I do. Please mommy, leave me in the arms of my meme', someone who loves and cares for me unconditionally.
I know I'm a special little Rose to meme and Daddy. They make every day a Valentine's Day with lots of hugs, kisses, and love. My accomplishments are always noticed and praised to encourage me to keep learning and doing new things. Just like when I gave up my pull-ups and graduated to big girl undies, it was almost like a party with laughing, singing, and dancing. But just like the dew-drops that escape with unawares, I sometimes have little accidents. Meme and Daddy acknowledge the accident and reassure me that it's ok and one day soon I will be all grown up enough that I won't have them anymore.
Being so young and tender, often adults just really do not want to listen to the soft cries and whispers when we try to let them know there are personal things happening and taking place that violate your small space that you just really don't know how to deal with nor express in words so that they can and will understand what it is you are trying to say. Some way and some how I knew I had to try and let Meme know I was in trouble, so as best I could, I told her
that there was another wild thorn bush invading my space and violating me in private areas that are mine and mine alone. Meme and I then went to the Police Station to talk to a Policeman there about this problem. I suppose he was surprised and concerned because he asked some Lady to come talk to him about what I had told Meme, but I must admit that was a bit confusing because when Meme started to tell her about my private space being invaded, the Lady yelled really loud to her to "Shut Up!" She then took me away and into a little private room without MemeÂ, wscaryas very scarey for this little Rose. I wasn't quite sure what to do or say, so I thought it would be better if I just didn't tell her anything and after a little bit, she took me back to where Meme was waiting and we went back to Meme's house.
It was some time after that when Meme and I started to take bus rides to Amarillo to visit a nice lady who is our friend. Meme visits with her for just a few minutes and then she leaves me to visit with my new friend for a little while, just her and me. She makes me feel safe there and I know I can tell her things like I tell Meme when someone is in my private space that shouldn't be there. She let me know she understands and that is special to me. After a little while, Meme comes back to get me and we ride the bus back to Meme's house. I like to ride the bus and it gives me a chance to tell Meme all about lots of "stuff". Some of it makes me feel like I am doing something bad, but I don't know how to stop doing it when a big person tells me to do it. It's very confusing, but Meme tells me that I'm not bad and that everything is going to be ok, but I can see it in her face that she is very sad. When I do "bad things", it makes me really afraid I will go to jail. Meme says that I will not and that the person invading my private space will go to jail, but I think Meme is telling me a story because he is not in jail. Why, can't Meme just make him go away? I tried to tell Mommy that this bad man was getting in my private space, but she got angry with me, punched me in my leg and told me not to make up stories about the bad man. I can tell Meme these things and she understands even though it upsets her.
Meme really loved me and showed it in so many ways. She always seemed to find "new" things for us to do together and new ways to do the older things that made them still be fun to do. Meme loved having me with her so much she even quit her job to devote all her time to me. We took lots of walks, made visits to the library and brought new books home to share each time, and shared so many stories about my cousin, Tyler, in Connecticut. The books had so many new things to learn and explore about oceans, stars, the moon, sharks, Free Willy, dinosaurs, Alaska, and other far-away places. I painted lots of pictures and made lots of crafts with Meme. I even learned how to write my name.
I am still growing and am now 3 years old. I know my alphabet, address, and phone number. I can mix primary colors to get purple, orange, green, and pink. I know my birthday, Daddy's birthday, and MemeÂs birthday. Meme has taught me lots of things about the outside world and how I should respect it. Things like, not to pick the flowers from other people's yards even though I think they are very pretty, leave the toys I see in other people's yards as they belong to others, look both ways before I cross the street and wait for the cars to pass if any are coming before I go. I can even make my own peanut butter sandwiches with a spoon. I really like having my very own "big-girl" bottles of water, milk, juice, and kool-aid in the refrigerator at Meme's so I can drink them when I am thirsty for them. Life at Meme's is sweet and nurturing for little Roses to grow in her garden.
Still, I am forced to spend visits in a place where the thorn bushes are so treacherous and ever lashing and piercing to my tender limbs and body. I just don't understand why I must endure this. I'm just a little Rose. At Meme's, I find safety and can tell Meme private things like when Daddy Stalk peed on my privates. It made her so sad she cried big tears for me. I showed her the big bruise on my hip where Daddy Stalk hit me with a board. Meme took me to the doctor for him to check. The next time I went to visit Mommy and Daddy Stalk, I came back home with a big bruise on my back. Again, Meme took me to see the doctor. When the doctor asked me how I got that bruise, I told them I fell on a toy motorcycle. The nurse didn't believe me and asked me to tell her what really happened and said that I didn't have to be afraid to tell her the truth, so I did. Daddy Stalk had hit me on the back with a board. I think she called the Police and told them because they came to the doctorÂs too and then took me the Police Station where they made some pictures.
Then one day, Meme came home and told me some very bad news that I would have to go live with Mommy and Daddy Stalk. HOW will this little Rose ever survive the ravages of their thorns that constantly lash and tear at my flesh and limbs? I cry and beg not to leave the safety and security of Meme's. I tell them I want to run away. I feel trapped and want to try to escape what seems like a death sentence to me. I donÂt understand and am so sad, but yet I am forced to go and endure.
Time has passed and I am now 4 years old. Life in this past year amidst all the thorn bushes has left permanent scars that will never go away. I am only allowed to visit Meme and Daddy in the only place of security and safety I know. I beg to stay and want to sleep in my bed amidst the love and safety, only to be told that the Judge in the Court said I have to go back to the snares and dangers of the home with Mommy and Daddy Stalk when my time of visit is up. I don't understand why the Judge keeps allowing this little Rose to be so thrashed, injured, hurt and torn by the thorn bushes who show me only pain with no love, nurturing, or security. The Judge has taken away from me, my family who wraps me in the aroma of their sweetness and limbs of security that allows me to thrive and grow as a little Rose should, to someday show a beauty all of my own.
I beg for the dew that kisses the Roses in their gardens ever so gently in the mornings, to call upon the clouds to rain the inspirations of help to those who are within reach of me to intercede and allow this little Rose to return to her garden of love and security that will nurture and care for her until she is matured and opened into the beauty of a young lady as an adult. My garden (Meme and Daddy) of love, safety, and security continues to fight for me each day but it seems as though no-one cares or hears. I cry "Meme fight harder and tell the Judge I am only a little Rose of 4 years and I am not happy any more!"
Wait there is more this little Rose is now 5 ,I am lucky to still be alive ,December 04 to punish me ,my daddy stalk made me climb high onto my bunkbed ,for breaking the rules ,telling me Rose jump up smash your little tender bud into the ceiling ,my abuse to you is so unrevealing.
Daddy stalk was mad at me for eating my buggers ,it was wrong this Rose agrees,that is no reason for what he did to me ,open your mouth my little Rose hold out your tongue in it goes ,Dawn was my punishment for my crime,It really hurt my mouth big time ,I could not eat the pain was so bad ,My crime for making daddy mad,but wait my momstalk cares,as to the doctor a day later she takes me .She told the doctor an untruth ,she did not tell him the harm to me that daddy stalk had done,and for this justice was none.Why do mommy and daddy stalk always want to harm this Rose ,it's a part of life I suppose.Did my mommy lie because she hates me so ,does my mommy not want me to grow?
Now this little Rose is kept numb by Ritalin ,I never had adhd before ,Why now?? I guess Rose buds are less trouble if they are constantly asleep.Little Rose do not grow while they sleep.
Won't "You" PLEASE help get me back into my family garden where I will be loved, cared for, and nurtured so that I may grow to my fullest potential and bloom into the "Rose" that God created me to be? Why did you take my parent bush from me ,keeping me in a life of misery.This is not healthy for A Rose to grow. I need a home of roses without a bed of thorns
Thank You!
A Torn Rose
Who are you? I'm a special little Rose. Have you ever listened to the soft small voice of a young tender Rose? The innocence is genuine, the spirit tender and so easily broken for its entire life. As just one special little Rose, may I talk to you for a little and gently pluck the strings of your heart?
When I was only a little over a year old, actually 15 months, my mommy shared some very exciting news with me that I was going to be a big sister. What a job that will be, I thought, as I'm still just a little Rose. But, as storms come, so often, the damaging winds and hail arrive along with it. The storm of this particular day, September 3, 2001, was greater than I had ever imagined it could be. Mommy rained down her wrath on this little Rose with a really hard spanking and then laid me in the clouds of my bed for a nap.
After a while, the storm seemed to calm, but as I awoke I saw an unfamiliar face glaring at me. Was I in Heaven or was this a strange dream? The lady smiled, picked me up, and then carried me away. This was just too strange and odd for comfort. Wherever was she taking me and who was she? Soon we arrived at another house that I didn't recall ever having seen before either. OH MY, where are my roots and my mother bush that I had relied on to sustain my life and let me grow and bloom into the beautiful flower little Roses are supposed to be? HOW am I supposed to do this when tossed amidst another bush that I have no connections with? Have I been severed from my support for the rest of my life? The panic I felt was overwhelming!
This new support now in my life was so strange and soon I found more thorns than I ever even imagined any Rose bush could possibly have. Those thorns of abuse and neglect still "sting" as they pierce my heart, soul, and tender skin. Why must the young Roses of this world be forced to live among the foster family "bushes" who are there only to claim the fertilizer of money they get for holding me within their stems of thorns for the following weeks that seemed almost an eternity? The pain of those thorns never goes away..................
Those weeks passed and it seemed as though I might never see the sun shine again, but on this day soon after the Thanksgiving feast on November 29, 2001, someone finally came to rescue me from the thorns that had been piercing my body and soul, but Oh NO, I am now being carried away by the winds of another unfamiliar set of support stems. But as I looked closer and felt the warm embrace of my daddy's limbs (arms) wrapped around me, I realized that I was out of the storm and there were no thorns of abuse to pierce me. At last I thought, I was now safe surrounded by the sweet smells and gentleness of a kind and loving new family with my daddy and Meme' (grandmother). Wrapped in this abundance of love and security where I knew I wouldn't be hurt again and that they were always near to catch me if I stumbled and fell, to wipe away my tears, calm my fears, play with me, and enjoy each new step as I learned new things and would continue to grow on my journey through life. There were times when I felt sick or sad, but I knew I could always reach out and they would take my hand.
Within this support of my new family, I've learned many new things and skills that will go with me the rest of my life, like yes maam and no sir, please and thank you, how to help care for myself, early educational skills spelling my name, how to play, enjoy being a little girl, have fun, and just be me, all safely within limits for such a young Rose.
Oh NO, not the family bushes of thorns again! Please let me be in peace while I am in your house visiting you. Don't choke me, flick me, kick me, hit me, pinch me, and pull my hair. This is all pain that my little body can't take much more of! Oh Please dear leaves within reach of me, protect me from the big sharp piercing thorns of Daddy Stalk who rules this garden with hard injurious tools! I am still so young and tender and just cannot understand why he doesn't like little Roses like me and wants to push so many hurtful and abusive thorns into my flesh, stuffing large amounts of food in my mouth and holding it closed until I swallow it, chewed or not. There's so much that I really don't understand and don't know what to call it all, but even as small and young as I am, I feel there are some really bad and strange things being done to my body that hurts and makes me so sore in private places it makes me cry when I walk, and that I don't like.
The doctor is my friend though. When I am sore and can hardly even walk, he has Meme' buy some lotion to make me feel better. Once I had to even take some medicine I was so sore. I know I can tell my meme' ev-er-y-thing. Meme', why do I have to keep going back to that bush of thorns for them to keep piercing my little body over and over? Am I some sort of sacrifice at their disposal? I'm little but I do understand a lot more than most people think I do. I know Meme' and Daddy loves me very much, and although they really don't want to, when it is time for me to go visit my mom's garden of thorns, they always insist that I go.
My meme' has tried, but she just hasn't been able to stop my mom and her significant other from delivering more abuse each time I go to their garden. Like a clock, visits continue on and I am now 2 years old. Meme' will listen to me when I come back to her house and tell her I don't want to go back to mommie's. I hate you (mommy); I don't want you (mommy) and I want you (mommy) not to be my family. You (Mommy) don't even care when I am sick and do not feel good and only want to sleep, and even when the doctor says I have a fever. The doctor even sends notes home to my mommy, but to her they're only trash. I only hear you scream and yell when you come to get me for a visit and tell my meme' that the courts say I must go if you demand that I do. Please mommy, leave me in the arms of my meme', someone who loves and cares for me unconditionally.
I know I'm a special little Rose to meme and Daddy. They make every day a Valentine's Day with lots of hugs, kisses, and love. My accomplishments are always noticed and praised to encourage me to keep learning and doing new things. Just like when I gave up my pull-ups and graduated to big girl undies, it was almost like a party with laughing, singing, and dancing. But just like the dew-drops that escape with unawares, I sometimes have little accidents. Meme and Daddy acknowledge the accident and reassure me that it's ok and one day soon I will be all grown up enough that I won't have them anymore.
Being so young and tender, often adults just really do not want to listen to the soft cries and whispers when we try to let them know there are personal things happening and taking place that violate your small space that you just really don't know how to deal with nor express in words so that they can and will understand what it is you are trying to say. Some way and some how I knew I had to try and let Meme know I was in trouble, so as best I could, I told her
that there was another wild thorn bush invading my space and violating me in private areas that are mine and mine alone. Meme and I then went to the Police Station to talk to a Policeman there about this problem. I suppose he was surprised and concerned because he asked some Lady to come talk to him about what I had told Meme, but I must admit that was a bit confusing because when Meme started to tell her about my private space being invaded, the Lady yelled really loud to her to "Shut Up!" She then took me away and into a little private room without MemeÂ, wscaryas very scarey for this little Rose. I wasn't quite sure what to do or say, so I thought it would be better if I just didn't tell her anything and after a little bit, she took me back to where Meme was waiting and we went back to Meme's house.
It was some time after that when Meme and I started to take bus rides to Amarillo to visit a nice lady who is our friend. Meme visits with her for just a few minutes and then she leaves me to visit with my new friend for a little while, just her and me. She makes me feel safe there and I know I can tell her things like I tell Meme when someone is in my private space that shouldn't be there. She let me know she understands and that is special to me. After a little while, Meme comes back to get me and we ride the bus back to Meme's house. I like to ride the bus and it gives me a chance to tell Meme all about lots of "stuff". Some of it makes me feel like I am doing something bad, but I don't know how to stop doing it when a big person tells me to do it. It's very confusing, but Meme tells me that I'm not bad and that everything is going to be ok, but I can see it in her face that she is very sad. When I do "bad things", it makes me really afraid I will go to jail. Meme says that I will not and that the person invading my private space will go to jail, but I think Meme is telling me a story because he is not in jail. Why, can't Meme just make him go away? I tried to tell Mommy that this bad man was getting in my private space, but she got angry with me, punched me in my leg and told me not to make up stories about the bad man. I can tell Meme these things and she understands even though it upsets her.
Meme really loved me and showed it in so many ways. She always seemed to find "new" things for us to do together and new ways to do the older things that made them still be fun to do. Meme loved having me with her so much she even quit her job to devote all her time to me. We took lots of walks, made visits to the library and brought new books home to share each time, and shared so many stories about my cousin, Tyler, in Connecticut. The books had so many new things to learn and explore about oceans, stars, the moon, sharks, Free Willy, dinosaurs, Alaska, and other far-away places. I painted lots of pictures and made lots of crafts with Meme. I even learned how to write my name.
I am still growing and am now 3 years old. I know my alphabet, address, and phone number. I can mix primary colors to get purple, orange, green, and pink. I know my birthday, Daddy's birthday, and MemeÂs birthday. Meme has taught me lots of things about the outside world and how I should respect it. Things like, not to pick the flowers from other people's yards even though I think they are very pretty, leave the toys I see in other people's yards as they belong to others, look both ways before I cross the street and wait for the cars to pass if any are coming before I go. I can even make my own peanut butter sandwiches with a spoon. I really like having my very own "big-girl" bottles of water, milk, juice, and kool-aid in the refrigerator at Meme's so I can drink them when I am thirsty for them. Life at Meme's is sweet and nurturing for little Roses to grow in her garden.
Still, I am forced to spend visits in a place where the thorn bushes are so treacherous and ever lashing and piercing to my tender limbs and body. I just don't understand why I must endure this. I'm just a little Rose. At Meme's, I find safety and can tell Meme private things like when Daddy Stalk peed on my privates. It made her so sad she cried big tears for me. I showed her the big bruise on my hip where Daddy Stalk hit me with a board. Meme took me to the doctor for him to check. The next time I went to visit Mommy and Daddy Stalk, I came back home with a big bruise on my back. Again, Meme took me to see the doctor. When the doctor asked me how I got that bruise, I told them I fell on a toy motorcycle. The nurse didn't believe me and asked me to tell her what really happened and said that I didn't have to be afraid to tell her the truth, so I did. Daddy Stalk had hit me on the back with a board. I think she called the Police and told them because they came to the doctorÂs too and then took me the Police Station where they made some pictures.
Then one day, Meme came home and told me some very bad news that I would have to go live with Mommy and Daddy Stalk. HOW will this little Rose ever survive the ravages of their thorns that constantly lash and tear at my flesh and limbs? I cry and beg not to leave the safety and security of Meme's. I tell them I want to run away. I feel trapped and want to try to escape what seems like a death sentence to me. I donÂt understand and am so sad, but yet I am forced to go and endure.
Time has passed and I am now 4 years old. Life in this past year amidst all the thorn bushes has left permanent scars that will never go away. I am only allowed to visit Meme and Daddy in the only place of security and safety I know. I beg to stay and want to sleep in my bed amidst the love and safety, only to be told that the Judge in the Court said I have to go back to the snares and dangers of the home with Mommy and Daddy Stalk when my time of visit is up. I don't understand why the Judge keeps allowing this little Rose to be so thrashed, injured, hurt and torn by the thorn bushes who show me only pain with no love, nurturing, or security. The Judge has taken away from me, my family who wraps me in the aroma of their sweetness and limbs of security that allows me to thrive and grow as a little Rose should, to someday show a beauty all of my own.
I beg for the dew that kisses the Roses in their gardens ever so gently in the mornings, to call upon the clouds to rain the inspirations of help to those who are within reach of me to intercede and allow this little Rose to return to her garden of love and security that will nurture and care for her until she is matured and opened into the beauty of a young lady as an adult. My garden (Meme and Daddy) of love, safety, and security continues to fight for me each day but it seems as though no-one cares or hears. I cry "Meme fight harder and tell the Judge I am only a little Rose of 4 years and I am not happy any more!"
Wait there is more this little Rose is now 5 ,I am lucky to still be alive ,December 04 to punish me ,my daddy stalk made me climb high onto my bunkbed ,for breaking the rules ,telling me Rose jump up smash your little tender bud into the ceiling ,my abuse to you is so unrevealing.
Daddy stalk was mad at me for eating my buggers ,it was wrong this Rose agrees,that is no reason for what he did to me ,open your mouth my little Rose hold out your tongue in it goes ,Dawn was my punishment for my crime,It really hurt my mouth big time ,I could not eat the pain was so bad ,My crime for making daddy mad,but wait my momstalk cares,as to the doctor a day later she takes me .She told the doctor an untruth ,she did not tell him the harm to me that daddy stalk had done,and for this justice was none.Why do mommy and daddy stalk always want to harm this Rose ,it's a part of life I suppose.Did my mommy lie because she hates me so ,does my mommy not want me to grow?
Now this little Rose is kept numb by Ritalin ,I never had adhd before ,Why now?? I guess Rose buds are less trouble if they are constantly asleep.Little Rose do not grow while they sleep.
Won't "You" PLEASE help get me back into my family garden where I will be loved, cared for, and nurtured so that I may grow to my fullest potential and bloom into the "Rose" that God created me to be? Why did you take my parent bush from me ,keeping me in a life of misery.This is not healthy for A Rose to grow. I need a home of roses without a bed of thorns
Thank You!
A Torn Rose
posted by God watches over the children | 6:39 PM
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